Seed Monkey's Quest to become a UK Sperm Donor

Two Months After Vasectomy

2012-01-24T22:13:00.001Z

So two months later after my vasectomy - recovery is going well. The first first of my sperm sample tests is in around 6 weeks or so. In the meantime condoms and the rhythm method have been our birth control of choice. Although by around now I should be sterile - there's still a risk --- and indeed without completing the tests it's not worth the risk.Although everything 'downstairs' still hasn't returned to being entirely comfortable - I can see there's light at the end of the tunnel - and expect in 6 months or so everything to be back to normal.

UK Sperm Donor Satisfaction Survey

2011-11-30T07:18:00.001Z

The UK's National Gamete Donation Trust (NGDT) are requesting that registered Sperm Donors Complete their Sperm donor satisfaction survey.The survey takes 5 minutes to complete and will help the NGDT to recommend positive changes that will make things better for future donors.

Vasectomy Completed!

2011-11-16T11:30:00.002Z

Had my vasectomy yesterday.

It was fine - wasn't painful at all. No real pain after the operation, or today, the day after. Just walking a little more carefully and a slight ache. Didn't get the best nights sleep but not so bad considering.

After the op I returned to work after and completed my afternoon's tasks - and I'm back at work today also.

Can only that if you are considering having it - go for it.

Just got 4 months to wait before providing two sperm samples to see if the operation was a success - and I'll then be confirmed as sterile.

The surgeon showed me, at my request, the bits he removed - think two lots of 2.5cm long spaghetti - and that's what it looks like.

Final update for June

2011-06-16T08:56:00.003+01:00

I got a nice email back from the clinic to say that the results of the screening had been returned to them and that my second, and final set of donations had been released for use - everything was in the clear.

My wife is booking in my vasectomy for later in the year - I'll be sure to give a update on how this works out and the procedures and tests that follow.

One final thing before I sign off for a while, I would like to wish all the my recipient parents, and their children, all the best for the future.

Screening Update

2011-06-11T06:57:00.002+01:00

Completed my final screening for bloods and urine today.

When this has been processed, the sperm from my second donation cycle will be available should it be needed.

Families Helped Update

2011-01-07T17:15:00.001Z

The Clinic updated me today so say that I'd helped eight families in total so far, I have an almost even split of boys and girls, and into double figures with the total number of children born.

Apart from the initial multiple births, no families have had second live births yet though it is a little early for that to take place ...

Lost Earnings Problem

2011-01-06T16:59:00.002Z

The previous post was going to be my last - but I have to tell you about the latest lost-earnings problem.

The clinic decided that the maximum I could claim for Travel Expenses + Lost Earnings was £250. I ended up getting the HFEA involved, and I believe the clinic went through a lot of pain to clarify the rules and now they agree that reasonable expenses are unlimited and loss of earnings have a £250 cap.

I took holiday from work to make my second donation cycle, and the clinic then decided in their wisdom that as I took paid-holiday that they'd not pay me lost earnings. Now I don't know about you, but paid-holiday is when you go on holiday. If you work when you are on holiday then you are not on holiday, you are working.

A few bunfights later, the clinic accepted to pay for my 'lost' holiday - though it was rather silly.

Hopefully the next Sperm Donor that donate at the clinic I used won't have the same problem ...

Second Cycle Complete - And Goodbye!

2010-09-08T14:13:00.005+01:00

Just a quick blog update to say that my second cycle was completed a few days ago.

There were still a few problems, the clinic forgot that I needed to do a wee test on my final visit, and a few less important things.

Much of this blame must sit squarely on the shoulders of the HFEA who make it difficult for Clinic's to reimburse Donors (it cost me over £1,300 to make my donations) and therefore when a Clinic that is not used to dealing with donors, does get a donor, they tend to make a bit of a mess of it.

So in summary, nobody died, I helped make some families, it cost me some money, it was a bit stressful, it was worth it.

So that's the end of this blog. Thanks for reading and goodbye!

Second Donation Schedule & Remuneration

2010-07-23T21:41:00.004+01:00

I wrote to the clinic earlier in the year to advise that I am considering a vasectomy once our third child has been delivered, and to ask whether they could contact my existing recipients to enquire whether they would like a 'matching' sibling for their child.

The result from the Clinic was a positive, and I have now started my second, and final donation cycle.

Now what I do need to make very clear is how well I am being looked after by the clinic.

Emails are responded to within a day, phone calls are returned within a couple of hours. This is welcome improvement from my earlier experience where it would take weeks to get any response. I am not sure what trigger this change, but it's reduced the stress factor immensely.

So at my first visit this year, I had a blood test, a urine test, and then provided my sample.

I spoke with the nurse to ask that she takes the bloods carefully, as you may recall that my Doctor's surgery botched a blood test last year, and the botched proble is still causing me pain. I can report that the bloods were taken very carefully and there was no additional nerve damage done.

Then there were was some confusion from the Clinic on the remuneration that I would be due. I contacted the HFEA who confirmed that the remuneration for a cycle would be a maximum £250 for loss of earnings plus 'reasonable' expenses as defined on the HFEA website. I have forwarded this information to the Clinic so they can update their procedures.

I will still lose money due to donating this second time, but the additional few pounds takes the sting out of the tail.

Once this cycle is complete, I will provide a final blood test 180 days after the last sample, and then, apart from updates from the clinic on live births, I am done.

New Arrival

2010-06-03T17:17:00.003+01:00

A quick update, our baby safely arrived yesterday (2nd June) in a very brief labour.

We were blessed with a lovely baby boy, and both he and Mummy are doing really well.

The little fella has two direct brothers, and 10 half-siblings. What a lucky boy :-)

Pregnancy Outcomes to Date

2010-05-05T11:34:00.003+01:00

I wanted to share with you some fantastic news.

The Fertility Clinic got back to me today with an update on the number of children born, and families helped by my donations.

There have been nine children born to date due to my choice to donate.

The 'ten family' limit hasn't been met yet, so as the year progresses I'll update.

Clinic Followup

2010-04-30T08:53:00.002+01:00

Today I sent an email to the clinic to request an update of the pregnancy outcomes.

At the time of the last update email from them, six months ago, I was informed that there were a number of ongoing pregnancies that would have all concluded by today's date.

I hope to be able to report back with some more good news in the next few of days.

Meanwhile, our own addition to the family is going as well as can be expected, and is due in the next 6 weeks or so.

Baby News

2010-02-05T21:11:00.002Z

I thought I'd include a Scan of our third baby ... after all why not? All is going well and baby is due in the Summer.

We do know if it is a boy or a girl ... but dear reader wouldn't that spoil the surprise if I told you now?

Time to donate again?

2009-10-12T22:44:00.003+01:00

I've got a question out with the clinic, do they need me to donate again?

I'd like to get to my ten family limit, and most importantly if any of the existing families I've helped would like another brother or sister more donations may be required.

As I've mentioned before, I think it is important for siblings to share a common genetic background - I know how I'd feel if I was a donor conceived child, I'd feel more secure if I had the same genetic Father as my brother or sister.

I'll probably have a vasectomy once our family is complete. Though that may be with this pregnancy, or perhaps the next? Who knows?

Clinic Update

2009-10-10T18:07:00.003+01:00

I contacted the clinic recently to find out the current situation regarding their success in using the sperm that I had donated during 2007/2008.

The news that I got was fantastic. I was able to help seven families conceive, of which a number have complete their pregnancies and some are currently in progress.

If you are a Mother or a Father, or someone that is working towards having a child - you appreciate how fabulous this is.

The Thin Blue Line

2009-10-03T18:08:00.002+01:00

We did a test today as my wife hadn't gotten PMT which was very obvious :) and she was due AF from yesterday.

We got two lines - the control line - and a very, very faint blue line.

If so then baby'd be due in the first half of June.

We are very excited, scared, and realise that it may be a chemical pregnancy or just a trick of the light - as I did leave the test to develop for 5 minutes longer than we should have.

No Luck this Month

2009-09-06T07:24:00.002+01:00

No Luck this Month ... start again in a couple of weeks!

Mechanical Intercourse

2009-08-27T19:53:00.002+01:00

Thank goodness the last week is over.

Having Intercourse 8 times in 7 days, at my age, and with my commitments, was quite a challenge.

Loving making under these circumstances is I am sorry to report, quite a chore.

Not only are the number of positions restricted to those which as rather most conclusive to depositing the sperm in the deepest, most correct place, the whole concept of pre-arranged sex is one which is rather less enjoyable than the more spontaneous type.

We'll know in the next two weeks if we were successful - fingers (and legs) are crossed that it all went well.

Either way I'll blog an update.

Sperm under the Microscope

2009-08-19T22:53:00.003+01:00

Yesterday my wife and I were watching a television programme about 'The secrets of the cell and of life itself', the programme discussed the improvement in Microscopes and had a section on a rather ingenious linen merchant called Antony van Leeuwenhoek. Amongst his studies and discoveries were blood cells, bacteria, and also sperm cells. The host of the programme procured his own sperm, and looked at it down an antique microscope.

Now, something I wondered for some time, what magnification do you need to see Sperm cells?

A cheap Microscope from a toy shop can be had for £25 or so that have magnification up to 1200x. Would this be enough?

So - I'll leave it for you, the reader to do your own research on Google - you may be surprised.

And my kids may be getting a Microscope for Christmas ;)

Houston We Have a Problem

2009-08-08T20:59:00.002+01:00

My wife had her AF a few days ago.

It's not surprising - we are not sure whether we had intercourse at the correct time of the month, and if we did we were probably both suffering from Swine Flu which is hardly the healthiest time to conceive.

This time around we'll work out when she'll be at her most fertile, and try to remember to have sex during that period.

It makes us realise how lucky we were first and second time to fall pregnant straight away.

CMV Results

2009-08-05T20:26:00.002+01:00

Got my final CMV results back, they are all negative and no evidence of infection.

So this is good news for the potential recipient, wherever, and whoever you are.

Not entirely sure why it took so long to get the report to me - the Lab printed the report at the start of July, and the Clinic received the results a few days later. So a delay of a month in posting it to me.

Finally - my arm is not fully returned to normal - I wouldn't say that it is giving me much pain, mostly pins and needles, and mild electric shocks. The sensations become stronger if I've used my arms. It's not the end of the world if that's as good as it gets.

All I want to do is ...

2009-07-29T20:39:00.003+01:00

Is my wife pregnant?

She has mentioned a few tingles and aches so far.

We didn't have intercourse very frequently during her fertile period due to being so busy with the children, work, and planning and also enjoying some social events for our families.

So it'll be interesting to see if she is in the family way.

If so, then it'd be a Mid-April baby(s).

Testing from this coming weekend onwards may give a hint.

No Results ... again

2009-07-29T20:37:00.002+01:00

A few days again I sent another email to the clinic to ask for the results of the CMV test.

This time I stuck a read receipt to see when they'd read it .... and they'd read it the same day.

Really, this isn't good enough, when they don't need something from me I am treated like something they trod in.

Very disappointing.

Family Sperm Donation History

2009-07-20T13:51:00.003+01:00

I learnt something of interest this month regarding a previous history of Sperm Donation in my family.

My late, Great-Uncle was unable to have children with his wife due to problems with her plumbing, and sometime during the 1950's/1960's he decided that he didn't want his genetic line to end and he became a Sperm Donor. As he lived and worked in London I guess that does narrow down the clinics that he may have donated at.

No doubt records may have been may have been long lost a long time ago, and therefore I have no idea whether he ever had any children due to his donations.

I found this out by chance as my mother was discussing my sperm donations with her sister, I guess totting up all the 'extra' grand-children she had gotten, and her sister mentioned this 'hidden' piece of family history.

I am just sorry that he, or his twin-brother (my Grandfather) never got to meet my two lovely, healthy and superb young boys.

If our next child is a girl then we are going to name her after my Great-Uncle, we didn't see him much, but he was always kind towards me and my brother.

We may have the Swine Flu

2009-07-17T22:22:00.004+01:00

My symptoms,

Sore Throat
Oh so very very very tried / can't concentrate / feel dizzy and drunk
Runny nose
Aching Limbs
Tight Chest
Chills & Sweating
Headache
Tummy upset
Occasional Cough

Wife's symptoms,

Hacking Cough
Headache
Very tired
Tight Chest
Sore Throat
Tummy upset
Chills / Sweating

Our children's symptoms,

Very tired for about 8 days
Temperature
Diarrhoea

Whatever it was, the children got it first, with my oldest leading and the youngest a couple of days behind. They just slept and slept - with their afternoon naps taking a long time. Our children are now fully recovered --- just as we become ill.

My wife is getting better - though still very tired.

I've had a couple of days off work - and I've only managed to last this long due to drinking pots of coffee every day.

It brought up the question - do we go to a social event where a friend is in their third trimester? We could have made it, it would have been tough but we'd have survived. We decided that it wasn't fair for us to put someone at risk - and although our Doctor would not say for sure that we had Swine Flu - I don't see what else we can have?

If we have got Swine Flu then I can only say we got off with the 'Mild' version. I'd say that it's been almost as bad as having Shingles, but not quite. Plenty of rest, paracetamol, and fluids seem to have helped a lot.

We discussed, do we put off having a child until next year when all this Swine Flu is over with? But what could happen next? Sheep Flu? Hopefully Swine Flu will be all done and dusted by the time my wife gets to her third trimester - but who knows?

I guess this illness probably isn't doing a great favour to my sperm count but hopefully I have a good overhead available and so things will work out fine.

One final thing of note - Swine Flu - it's a very apt name as with all the tummy upsets our house smells like a farmyard.

No Results

2009-07-14T17:57:00.002+01:00

Just sent an email to the clinic to remind them to send me a copy of the CMV test results.

It really makes no material difference to me what the result is - though if it is negative then I know that it was worth the hassle.

I suspect that the six weeks the Doctor said for a full recovery is probably about right.

Donor Conceived Perspectives: Voices from the Offspring

2009-07-12T20:46:00.002+01:00

My previous posting had been in the back of my mind for sometime and I was spun into action by reading this Blog --- if you are considering Donating --- than take a read.

Stupid Laws

2009-07-12T13:24:00.004+01:00

I am very disappointed in with regard to the current Law and Donor Conceived children, here's a couple of rants to get things started:

There is no law to say that the parents must tell Donor Conceived children that they are Donor Conceived. If the child suspects they can ask the HFEA ... once they reach their teenage years--- but that's about it. I do know there was some talk about putting on the Birth Certificate that a child was Donor Conceived but this it just total stupidity as this makes the information almost public. Surely the answer would have been for the HFEA to send a letter to the child when he/she reached 18 to set up an interview. This'd force the parents to tell the child at an earlier date that they were donor conceived.
My children have no right to access information about their Donor-Conceived half-siblings. This is just lunacy - why can Donor-Conceived half-siblings request information about their other half-siblings but exclude my children? Total crassness on behalf of the lawmakers

Okay I've a few more but that'll do for now ...

New Project

2009-07-11T21:53:00.002+01:00

Yep - this weekend we start off with trying for baby #3.

It's a tough job, of course I'm not enjoying it one tiny bit but it is a burden I'm happy to carry.

Armed and Dangerous

2009-07-09T22:25:00.002+01:00

My arm is almost better.

The recovery was set back by a week or so as on Sunday I had a pushchair to push for a few miles when we had a day out at the seaside.

I've not need to take further pain relief - that is a blessing in itself.

Hopefully by the time my vacation starts in August everything will be better as we have many days-out planned ... and I guess I'll have a pushchair to push.

Actually isn't it funny. We come into this world with little or no hair, unable to feed ourselves, get wheeled around and have no control over our bowel or bladder. And when we exit this world, if we get to a grand old age, history repeats itself?

Handy Update

2009-06-28T21:12:00.003+01:00

I went to see the doctor last week - and I got offered an emergency appointment that meant I was seen within the hour.

The doctor advised take Ibuprofen on a regular basis - avoid using the arm for any strenuous activity, and that is may taken up to 6 weeks for the problem to go away.

Up until today I've not been able to use the arm - and even just moving it a few mm's was agony.

Researching the condition - it seems it's fairly uncommon and I read some horror stories of nerve damage not repairing itself.

Today I feel it's starting to get a little better. The electric shocks/stabbing pains etc are reducing in intensity - although I will try to avoid using it till it's a lot more improved.

Hopefully my discomfort will result in something wonderful for another family.

Blood Test Agony

2009-06-22T20:34:00.003+01:00

The clinic forgot to do a CVM for my second set of donations - so I received a blood-test pack in the post and took it to my local Doctors for them to draw the sample.

The nurse clearly wasn't concentrating - and must have poked a tendon as my left-arm has been in agony ever since - a mixture of 'electric shocks', burning pain, and freezing pain - and I can't put any weight on it or do anything more than lift a pencil.

I can't lift my children, or even hold their hands, and it is keeping me awake at night. I haven't tried driving - I am not sure if I'd be able to do this without pain.

I am not at all surprised as the nurse wasn't taking any notice on what she was doing and was just chatting away about goodness-knows what else rather than concentrate on what she was doing.

I am very annoyed - and can ill afford more time off work for a follow-up consultation.

Results so far

2009-06-15T19:51:00.002+01:00

The clinic has confirmed there have been three children born due to my donations so far, and a number of pregnancies which are on-going.

I'm really excited for everyone involved - this has made it all worth while.

Just for the record - I will only disclose the total number of children born - and no other detail.

Goal for the Hattrick

2009-05-15T20:27:00.002+01:00

Well - so far in the three month's I've lost 29 pounds - and only another 19 pounds till I get to my perfect BMI.

I'm on extra Zinc, Garlic Capsules, Vitamin C and a general Vitamin Supplement.

Alcohol consumption has been reduced - and credit-crunch permitting we'll start on Baby Number Three in July/August - my sperms should be good as they will ever be.

What really bothers me - Sperm Donor Donation is so complicated - a whole industry built around it - when it could be such a safe procedure to undertake. I guess people can't be trusted - and hence why it's so expensive for recipients to receive.

Profile of a UK Sperm Donor

2009-04-17T20:43:00.003+01:00

If you are interested - please join in. I've been thinking about doing this post for the past six months - so please bear with me.

I'll post a short profile - and then please ask any question that you have - I know this site gets a lot of hits - so fire away and don't worry about the question - I promise to answer them all.

So a little about me.

I am married
I have a full-time professional job
I have two children
I am in the 35 to 40 age bracket
I am blonde, with grey/blue eyes, I am tall
Religion - I practise a little, but mostly private
I don't hold a grudge
I try to be a good, nice person, I have the patience of a saint, and often put others before myself

What more do you want to know?

State the Obvious

2009-04-12T20:58:00.004+01:00

Over the weekend I needed to drive into town to pick up a few bits - and being the conservative person I am - I normally park well away from the maelstrom of activity in the car park and find secluded spot.

I found myself parked next to a lorry trailer marked 'NHS Screening Unit'. It was probably for Breast Cancer, though I didn't investigate.

Anyway it got me thinking - there should, or could be, a smaller, cheaper version for gentlemen to donate in. The issue with the sperm shortage is that currently we have 35 year old fathers donating - a change from the 1980's when students donated for beer money. This issue is that 35 year old fathers have jobs to go to during the working day - therefore there is a sperm crisis.

Realistically a 'Sperm Wagon' could travel from town to town, being available from 11am, to 11pm, one day in each location. All that is needed is a room for a receptionist, the lab-assistant, cryogenic store, and 4 or so donation rooms. A thirty minute slot is more than adequate - even for those taking their time.

A drive to a local donation center is much easier, and squeezable into a working day, than a drive/train to a distant location.

The donations could be couriered out each day to the holding location - and the crisis would be over.

Speaking of Number 3

2009-04-03T20:40:00.002+01:00

All things being well - we're going to make a start on our next child in July/August this year.

We're hoping for a April/May 2010 birth - which will give nice weather and be between our other two boy's birthdays.

My money is on it being another boy, but I'd be quite happy with a girl. The only concern of course is if we are rewarded with twins - which could be a squeeze - in more ways than one.

Confirmed Pregnancies

2009-04-01T16:15:00.003+01:00

I phoned the Clinic today to ask about pregnancies.

The clinic confirmed there were at least five pregnancies, and that there would are some additional ones also - though not formally collated in their computer system as yet.

Apparently my sperm freezes/thaws very well compared to most donor sperm - and that the rate of pregnancy of it was much higher than they'd usually get.

They've also confirmed they have used than half my donations with those pregnancies.

I am very happy for the families - I am very happy my time wasn't wasted - I am glad I have done this.

Final Blood Tests

2009-01-19T10:55:00.003Z

All the tests are clear - which means that my second set of donations can been released.

No word on any pregnancies - which I am very disappointed with.

Chasing the Results ... The Day We Made Contact

2009-01-14T13:36:00.002Z

Sent another reminder email yesterday - this one with a polite but exasperated tone. I got a read receipt this morning, and an apology this afternoon, with the promise for details to follow shortly.

Chasing the Results Still ... No Update

2009-01-08T13:33:00.002Z

The postman brought nothing. Maybe tomorrow?

Is it me being unreasonable? I sent the original request on the 17th December.

Chasing the Results Still ... Update

2009-01-07T12:59:00.003Z

Well I got a email-read-receipt yesterday ... they can only check email once in the morning ... but no still human response.

Maybe tomorrow will bring a traditional letter?

Chasing the Results Still ...

2009-01-05T14:17:00.001Z

Still no answer, I will chase again.

Chasing the Results

2008-12-17T09:47:00.004Z

I've not heard from the clinic on the blood test results ... so I have followed up and we'll see what they say.

I shouldn't have to chase everything, every time.

I've also asked for information on any pregnancies.

Will update when I get a response.

Cheque this out

2008-11-20T20:50:00.006Z

I got my final cheque for completing the final blood tests,

That brings it to £250, which really doesn't cover my transport costs, certainly doesn't cover the costs of the time I took off work, and doesn't cover the injustice of multiple stabs of needles.

So final tot up, travel costs, £500, time off work £1,000 (based on my take home pay, not the cost to clients) so a grand total of £1500 minus £250, I am '£1,250' out of pocket.

Basing 11 visits x 5 days without sex, that's 55 days, and at £150 a pop (though as being married I can't actually charge my wife for this) it comes to £8,250, so the true cost of donating is £9,500. I could do a lot with £9,500.

Okay, some minor exaggeration, but really, Sperm Donation in the UK needs a firm overhaul if it is to succeed at any time in the future.

The Line is Drawn at Jodie Marsh

2008-11-07T14:56:00.007Z

I *really* hope my sperm doesn't go to Jodie Marsh ...

See this story in The Sun newspaper where Jodie claims to have become as lesbian and is asking for Sperm Donations in a very distasteful manner.

For readers of this blog outside of the UK, Jodie Marsh is the 'failed version' of Jordan (Katie Price) and does anything and everything to try and become as popular as the lovely Jordan ... and fails miserably.

All Blood Tests Complete

2008-11-07T14:10:00.005Z

I had my final blood and urine tests today - and will get sent the results when they are back from the lab. I'll update when I receive them.

The clinic's used the first half of my donations - and this test will release the remainder.

The needle didn't hurt too much this time! Oh okay it did but it was over quickly.

I'll find out next year whether there were any pregnancies or births. I'm very interested in learning how many children are born as a result of my donations - and will make sure my children know of what to potentially expect in the future.

Final Blood Tests: 2 of 2

2008-10-29T20:45:00.002Z

My Final Blood Tests are booked in for the month of November.

I'm going to hit their free coffee machine hard and get some free drinks. Since having kids I've become a coffee addict ... sleep's for wimps, right?

There is no chance of failing the Blood tests - I am a good boy.

Affirmation that what I am doing is right

2008-10-18T20:56:00.002+01:00

My two children are brilliant.

We have our ups, and our downs, teething, colds, coughs, tantrums, trials and tribulations.

Sleepless nights, money worries, concerns on what the future may deal.

To be honest the only decent nights sleep are when I am away from home on business.

But I cannot imagine life without my boys.

I cannot begin to explain to those people that have chosen not to have children on what they have missed out on.

I cannot begin to provide my condolences for those that cannot conceive.

By being a donor, I hope thats someone's dream will become true.

Results of Final Blood Tests: 1 of 2

2008-10-11T22:55:00.004+01:00

I would apologise for delay in updating, but I won't as it's not my fault.

I've been hounding the clinic for copies of my test results for the past month and they only came though today.

The expected news is, that everything is still okay. If it wasn't, then I'd really like to know why ... as indeed I am a very good boy.

Now I need to find out when the second set of tests will be to release the remaining donations. I may also ask if there have been any pregnancies to date.

Final Blood Tests: 1 of 2

2008-07-28T18:53:00.003+01:00

Had some blood tests today, which will release half on my donated sperms.

Why does, 'this will be a small scratch' never quite that? Either it's completely painless, or it hurts like $%@!.

Will report back once I get the 'okay' letter.

Small Update

2008-06-07T22:00:00.003+01:00

Not much to say, but a few updates.

1) Apologies to those looking via Google for hints on the Monkey Quest World of Warcraft Add On. This is not the Monkey you are looking for. Move along, move along.
2) The clinic have asked for a July appointment to release half my Sperm donations.
3) I am still around and will update.

Photograph of an Anonymous Donor

2008-05-01T23:37:00.007+01:00

I'd been wanting to do this for a while, and after seeing that Richard had posted some photos of him and his gorgeous kids, it gave me the courage to attach a photo of myself - although I won't go the whole hog and post a recent photo for a while yet.

My Clinic has this photograph too. There is the chance that when my donation is released that the recipient's of my donation may stumble onto this Blog. C'est la vie.

PS I've aged a bit since that photo was taken.

Question Time

2008-04-25T20:02:00.004+01:00

I you are reading this blog, the chances are you a human being, and may have some questions for me.

So this is the post to ask them under .... or if the question is too personal drop me an email (via the link in the profile) and I promise to answer by return.

Status Update

2008-04-19T06:22:00.002+01:00

All my donations are complete. So in around 6 months I'll have my final bloodtests and then the donations will be released for use.

Thoughts about this Blog

2008-04-04T15:45:00.004+01:00

Looking at the name I chose for this blog - I suppose really it is rather derogatory and put people off.

I don't get many visitors - so maybe it doesn't really matter, or should I change it?

Things I Now Know

2008-04-01T15:21:00.003+01:00

I could have requested mileage Expenses + £250 for a full donor cycle. I will not break even on the cost of donation.

There are 12 visits for a full donor cycle, Initial Visit / 10 Donations / Final Blood Test
My blood group, is an odd one - I may get one of those stainless steel bracelets made up
STD's, I don't have any
General Health, Genetics, everything is clear
Going without sex is frustrating
Handing over the donation to the embryologist can be a bit embarrassing the first few times
I am glad I was accepted as as donor and glad I am doing this :-)

Are we there yet?

2008-03-31T22:39:00.002+01:00

It seems like a long time has passed since the start of this blog.

If everything goes well - my final donation should be completed in the month of April.

Walking like John Wayne

2008-03-20T22:07:00.003Z

One of the thing's I hadn't fully thought about was the impact of abstinence on my relationship with my wife.

The times we both want to get jiggy with it are when a donation appointment is coming up.

It may only be 5 days prior - it feels like 5 weeks.

Be sure to bear this in mind when you sign up.

Quick Update

2008-02-14T21:59:00.005Z

I am still here ...

Just to say, our baby arrived safely.

Meanwhile my clinic has been looking after me very well - only a few donations to go.

Thanks for Nothing Mr/Ms Donor

2007-12-18T17:00:00.000Z

Reading through some blogs - it seems people that are DI conceived, or parents of DI children, raise some common themes,

DI conceived are angry that they don't/won't know their biological parent(s). They feel that they have been abandoned/ignored/not complete.
Some DI parent(s) angry that their children may track down their biological Mum/Dad and become best mates.

Thank goodness for you that your Donor had the selfless concern for the welfare of families that they have never met, and would never meet, to go to the trouble and inconvenience of donating sperm/eggs so that your life could take place/so that you could become a Mum or Dad.

There are no perfect answers - just look at where you are in life - accept that you are where you are - and get on and enjoy your life/kids.

My wife said to me, you're doing a really kind thing Mr SeedMonkey, I am sure that the people you help become parents will be really thankful. I am sure she is right - it's just me being a the cynical person that I am.

The True cost of Donating

2007-12-15T22:48:00.001Z

I did some back of a fag packet calculations last week, so bear with me. This shows the cost of donating my sperm over the 10 sessions.

The total cost of travelling, and taking time off work (based on my hourly rate) comes in at to £1,500. I will get paid £250 at the end of my donation cycle, so this leaves me down £1,250.

Now add in the periods of 5 days sexual abstinence prior and the evening after each donation.

PS, Unless you are Keira Knightley's better looking sister then due to being bound by my marriage vows I will be unable to accept donated bonks.

First 'Frozen' Donation

2007-11-13T17:15:00.000Z

Well - got first 'real' donation under my belt today.

Probably won't post again until donations are complete - or something interesting happens.

Oh - been meaning to say for a while - at no point will I post anything about the donation centre that I'll be making my deposits. This is in case the chaps at the centre find this blog, match up my dates/rusting car etc and worry about confidentiality :-)

Success Criteria

2007-11-09T19:26:00.001Z

Success Criteria is as follows,

Get accepted as a Donor
Complete all my Donation visits
Find out if I my donation makes a family complete

So one down, two to go.

I must admit to being quite excited.

Bloody Brilliant

2007-11-09T14:33:00.001Z

All done on the blood tests - so first donation is booked for later this month.

Blood Glorious Blood

2007-11-09T08:54:00.000Z

Got a quick reponse from the Clinic - they are waiting for one blood test to come back and we take it from there.

Follow-up

2007-11-05T19:19:00.000Z

Nothing from the Clinic to date so will follow with them in case they've forgotten/or my letter got lost in the post.

Nothing much to report

2007-10-16T19:21:00.000+01:00

Nothing much to report

Waiting for my blood tests, and pee test results to come back.

I suppose the postal strike didn't help.

Cat's out of the bag

2007-10-10T23:31:00.000+01:00

Got the guts to tell my folks about my donation plans.

They said they thought it was a good idea - although I am not really sure what else they could have said.

This'd definitely bugger up the family tree.

Run in with the Razor Sharp Collection Cup

2007-10-09T21:08:00.001+01:00

They should really should chamfer off the edges of the collection cup as I can tell you, Dear Reader, that they are razor sharp. Popping one's willy in there to get the last drop of juice is not the best thing to do unless you are into self-harm.

It is not for me to Play at being God

2007-10-06T20:57:00.000+01:00

It's not my place to play God.

It's not my place to say who does, who doesn't get my donated Sperm.

Therefore Married Couples, Co-habiting Couples, Lesbian Couples, and Single to-be-Mums all are eligible, regardless of race, creed, or any other imaginable criteria.

The Donation Room

2007-10-06T08:06:00.000+01:00

So what is in the donation room?

You get a sink, handwash, variety of paper towels, waste paper basket, magazine rack (with a selection of manual-assistance magazines, straight, gay etc) and a La-Z-Boy leather recliner.

Firing the Silver Bullets

2007-10-06T00:23:00.000+01:00

Had my first visit earlier in the week.

I've got 4 times as much sperm concentration as the national average - with a good rate of progression and mobility.

Hurrah for the good guys.

Will update with more detail in the next few days.

Still Here

2007-09-28T18:28:00.001+01:00

I'm still here - my next post (unless anything exciting happens in the meantime) will be whether I get over the next hurdle (with plenty to follow) of becoming a donor.

Do YOU Give a Toss? THE VIDEO!

2007-09-22T09:38:00.000+01:00

www.giveatoss.com

More Forms

2007-09-21T18:12:00.000+01:00

So I some more forms to fill out before my visit.

My visit will be,

Provide Sample
Doctor does a Physical
Bloods taken
Medical History is taken

After talking with the Clinic the said they'd be able to tell me my Sperm Count and Mobility on the day. Just having had a stinker of Man Flu (including quite a few days off work) I hope that the little fella's aren't affected.

The Second Step

2007-09-21T11:09:00.000+01:00

My first donation is scheduled - this is the one where they find out whether I'm suitable to be a donor.

Wish me luck.

Thoughts for Sunday

2007-09-16T17:22:00.001+01:00

I hope to hear from the Donation Clinic in the next few days - hopefully I am their 'ideal' candidate seeing that there was nothing negative to fill in on the questionnaire.

In the coming week or so I've decided to give the National Gamete Donation Trust a ring to see if there is anything I can do to help out.

Things that I have been pondering - should everything work out - what I have to decide is who can/can't have my donation. Being a Caucasian male - the only mandatory thing that springs to mind is to ensure that the father is also of Caucasian orgin.

Other options that sprang to mind - should I choose purely
Heterosexual relationships or should I include Lesbians? Should the families that bring their children into the world be Married or is co-habiting enough?

Although I have strong feelings on all of these things - some of my very good friends have had children despite not been married or in a civil partnership and are doing very well . I don't personally know any Lesbians - but giving it some thought (no, not that sort of thought) I bet my last dollar that their need and desire for children is just as strong.

How many children per family? The limit that UK law gives is 10 children per Donor. So is that one child per family to make 10 families sort-of-complete? Or should I give the option for 2 children and give 5 families the chance to have full brother/sister relationship and identical genetic identity?

We would like to have at least 3 children in our family. Three is the new two. What about parents that want 3 children with the same genetic make-up?

Selfishly I don't want any of my potential '10' to go to waste.

Conversely - I do not want to be the person that does plays God with people's lives.

Lots of things to think about.

EDIT: It's 10 Familes (as per Billy's comment below) not 10 children :)

Found another Would-be Donor

2007-09-13T21:43:00.000+01:00

The Anonymous Sperm Donor (who has a URL that makes me go cross-eyed) is a the first UK Blogger (potential) Sperm Donor I've located.

I wonder what happened to the rest of his story?

Answer on the back of a postcard please - to the usual address.

Out for the count

2007-09-12T21:48:00.000+01:00

Not sure how I missed this - an extended article on the BBC Website with some more information about the 'The Great Sperm Crisis' made by BBC Three (and repeated every few months).

NHS Not Recruiting Donors

2007-09-11T18:26:00.000+01:00

Amazing, got this reply from the NHS about my (now withdrawn) application,

Dear Mr Seed Monkey,

Thank you for your application and sorry for the delay.
We are not recruiting donors at the moment for various reasons.
We wish you the best with another clinic.

Regards
Fertility Unit

> From: Mr Seed Monkey
> Dear Sir/Madam,
>
> I have not heard anything from you / any
> acknowledgement letter or contact in I
> am withdrawing my my application as I
> am applying elsewhere.
>
> Regards,
> Mr Seed Monkey

Words fail me - although I should not be surprised.

Taking my Sperm Tablets

2007-09-10T22:24:00.000+01:00

When I say Sperm tablets, I mean Selenium and Zinc - may as well give the boys (my sperm) the best start I can. These Sperm Tablets were just knocking around in the medicine cabinet - and it is only fair to give the boys what I gave baby 1 and baby 2 (still under construction).

Reading this information and interesting article on iVillage - it says that to get your boys fully fit, ejaculation should occur every 2 to 3 days. So, thus begins a fitness programme that Mr Universe will be proud of. I just hope that the Mrs is up for it.

Monday Evening Factoid 1: Growing a Sperm from start to finish takes an amazing 3 months. That's quite a long time when you take into consideration that a human baby takes just 9 months.

Monday Evening Factoid 2: An average, fertile man creates 6 million sperms a day. So in the time it takes for woman to grow one baby, a man would have produced 1,620,000,000 sperms.

Tomorrow's challenge is to post without using the word sperm or ejaculate.

Having a Moan

2007-09-09T22:28:00.000+01:00

Just reading through the many, many procedures that are followed to whether one's health/sperm is up to scratch. I won't quote the detail here, as I don't want to burden, you the reader with the terms and conditions - suffice to say that of the 5 pages of the document, only pages 1,2,3,4, and 5 have reasons why Donor's are rejected.

Reading further elsewhere on the site - it seems that the maximum 'beer money' is £250 for the ten visits. What a stupid law, as according HMRC rates I'll be out of pocket simply on mileage - and stick a ton of miles on my already decrepit rust-bucket of a 14 year old car.

If clinics were as prevalent as GP offices - and lets face it the only extra that the GP Surgery would need is a subscription to a Mucky Monthly Periodical - then there would be clear justification to the limit of expenses.

It's quite clear what a cock-up the Government have made - and there is no wonder why there is a Donor Crisis - it's short-sightedness and poor legislation that's caused the problem in the first place.

My moan over with - I know how lucky we are to be in a position to consider donating - the buggers don't make it easy.

Let's cross the bridges when they come - the whole thing may not need worrying about if I'm rejected as a Donor.

Signing off for now,
A Grumpy Monkey

Told our first person

2007-09-08T19:13:00.000+01:00

My wife mentioned to her mother that I was in the process of seeing if I could donate. She (mother-in-law) was very supportive. Which is nice.

Oh, and I suppose that I should mention that we plan for my wife to give some eggs once we've reached the defined size of the Seed Monkey Clan.

Will have to ensure that if donation goes ahead for both of us, then our respective seeds are not joined - that is something that is most defiantly not on - I hope for obvious reasons.

That sobering thought over with, I am slowly working my way through 'The End of My Line?' blog by Richard. It is certainly a must-read for all potential, and actual parents, irrespective of whether a Donor is involved.

I won't give anything away, but it's a real tear jerker at times.

Anonymous or Not Anonymous

2007-09-07T22:46:00.001+01:00

My wife and I discussed, if I got to donate, would we tell people? I think we would - and of course tell our Sprogs so they are prepared for the future and they don't find out by an accidental slip of the tongue.

After searching Blogger, there are many blogs from DI Dads (Dads whose children are conceived with the help of a Sperm Donor) whose posts are very touching indeed.

Okay, where do I sit on the Anonymous / Not Anonymous thing. You know, I really sit on the fence on this one, and I think that the mistake that campaigners might be making that the core issue is not the law that's putting people off, it's the perception that being a Sperm Donor is a disgusting, filthy, thing to do.

Being a Sperm Donor involves having a wazz over a dirty mag and splashing the resulting muck into a pot. There we are. That's what people think. What's needed is a way of changing the publics perception, using positive images and stories to show how great donating can be to help others.

Blood Donation got it right with their TV and Poster Campaigning - what's needed is something similar for Sperm and Egg Donations.

Thinking Thinking Thinking

2007-09-07T21:43:00.000+01:00

Been lying in bed, awake wondering, what will happen next.

Will my sperm be top notch, or will it be a bit naff and no good to anyone?

My wife became pregnant with Both Sprog 1 and Sprog 2 without problems. So I hope that the buggers are good little swimmers and are okay being frozen. We am very grateful that we were able to conceive easily.

Sprog number 2 - he/she had their third ultrasound scan this week and he/she is fine and snug inside Mummy's tummy. Make the most of it mate - not that long till you get forcibly evicted.

Reading through the donation FAQ sent to me (see previous post) there is one thing that really worries me. You are invited to write a description of yourself, a goodwill message to any child or children, including education, achievements, views, values, and life experiences.

I find it tough enough to write a Christmas or Birthday card to my Wife that's more expressive than, "Dear Wife, Have a Great Christmas/Birthday, all my love Seed Monkey xxx".

What pressure would be brought to bear to write a expressive and open account of myself that will be minutely analysed for 18 years. Every spelling mistake analysed, grammar checked, word count/to fact ratio plotted.

I'll cross that bridge if I come to it.

Going Private

2007-09-06T14:17:00.000+01:00

No communications from the NHS despite a follow-up, so have withdrawn my donation offer to the NHS.

Applied to a private clinic - and they responded immediately with a nice, personal letter thanking me in my interest, questionnaire to complete, and a FAQ of what you need to know about donating Sperm.

A formal response was promised within the fortnight once they've analysed my completed questionnaire.

Ground control to Major Tom

2007-09-05T20:44:00.000+01:00

Not a peep from the Donor place.

Shock and Horror - I might have to pick up the telephone and actually talk to someone.

Profile of Sperm Donor, from 1994 to 2005 - Part Deux

2007-09-04T08:30:00.001+01:00

My wife pointed out that the Profiles below indicate that the majority of the generation that is donating today, is pretty much the same generation age that was donating 10 years ago.

What happens when this Generation of Donor gets past their Sperm-by-Date at age 45?

Profile of Sperm Donor, from 1994 to 2005

2007-09-03T22:37:00.000+01:00

Monday Evenings facts from the Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority (HFEA),

In 1994-1995:

Sperm donors were most commonly aged between 18 – 24 years
Less than a third (32.2%) of sperm donors were over the age of 30
Only 1 in 5 (21%) of sperm donors already had children of their own

In 2004-05:

More than 2 out of 3 sperm donors (69%) were aged over 30
The most common age group for sperm donors is 36-40
More than 2 out of 5 sperm donors (41.5%) already have children of their own
Just under a third of sperm donors (31.4%) have two or more children

So what does this tell us?

My theory, based on no facts whatsoever, hinging totally on in-depth understanding of male values,

during the 90's Donors were anonymous Students squeezing their seed into a test tube to earn a few quid towards Saturday's Beer Money
during the Noughties - it's the existing Fathers realising the joy of giving life - for them the goal is to help childless couples fufil their lifelong need to have and raise children of their own. And they still pay a few quid towards Saturday's Beer Money (which goes a lot further due to lack of tolerance to alcohol).

The Great Sperm Crisis

2007-09-03T19:23:00.001+01:00

Just finished watching the The Great Sperm Crisis that was shown on BBC3 last week. Such are the benefits (and problems) of time slipped viewing (there are no repeats scheduled for the immediate future - but I expect it'll be on again in a couple of months).

If the facts described at the time of filming are - then things are worse than I thought. For example at the time the show was filmed there were no active Donors in Northern Ireland. Edinburgh, which Scotland's Capital City, doesn't have a active Donation Program at the Main hospital due (i) lack of donors with in turn resulted in (ii) budget reallocation which closed the Donor Unit.

Do you Give a Toss?

2007-09-02T19:30:00.000+01:00

Well do you Give a Toss?

I suppose that it does raise the profile of Donation, but is a rather seedy (sorry) way to promote the need.

Maybe us Brits love a bit of smut.

What a Carry On.

I've only gone and done it

2007-09-02T18:58:00.000+01:00

After consulting the The National Gamete Donation Trust website and drilling down I found the list of licensed Donor Clinics (PDF download).

If you don't use a licensed donor clinic there are potential legal implications (such as 18 years of Child Support via the CSA) that really isn't worth the risk.

There are a few licensed clinics within a reasonable distance - although not exactly an around-the-corner trip. I've decided that the NHS need all the funding they can get, so they'll be the chaps getting my donation. Quite reasonably they have an on-line application form. Form has been duly submitted and sent. The only way this could get better if they could accept your donation as an email attachment.

What is surprising is the limited numbers of Clinics - 35 in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. With 6 of those in London.

There is no wondering why there is a shortage - not much choice when it comes to dropping off your contribution.

I will do my best to help others

2007-09-02T10:34:00.001+01:00

No, I'm not a Cub Scout, well not any more. But I will do my best to help others, namely those families that aren't. Families that aren't families because they can't have children due to issues with the father's Sperm.

During the 1990's, the number of active donor's was 459. Prior to the removal of Sperm Donor Anonymity in April 2005, there were 250 Donors. Despite the removal of Anonymity, in 2006 this figure actually rose by 15 Donors to a total of 265 active Donors.

There continues to be a crisis in the UK, with a severe shortage of Donor Sperm.

Having a family of our own is the best thing - we have a baby of one year, and another one on the way, due in 2008. What really hit us hard was how tough it must be for couples to go through their lives without the children their every fibre craves.

A high percentage of potential donors are turned down due to unsuitability, due to lifestyle, genetic history, etc.

I will do my best to help others - and document this journey