I hope to hear from the Donation Clinic in the next few days - hopefully I am their 'ideal' candidate seeing that there was nothing negative to fill in on the questionnaire.
In the coming week or so I've decided to give the National Gamete Donation Trust a ring to see if there is anything I can do to help out.
Things that I have been pondering - should everything work out - what I have to decide is who can/can't have my donation. Being a Caucasian male - the only mandatory thing that springs to mind is to ensure that the father is also of Caucasian orgin.
Other options that sprang to mind - should I choose purely
Heterosexual relationships or should I include Lesbians? Should the families that bring their children into the world be Married or is co-habiting enough?
Although I have strong feelings on all of these things - some of my very good friends have had children despite not been married or in a civil partnership and are doing very well . I don't personally know any Lesbians - but giving it some thought (no, not that sort of thought) I bet my last dollar that their need and desire for children is just as strong.
How many children per family? The limit that UK law gives is 10 children per Donor. So is that one child per family to make 10 families sort-of-complete? Or should I give the option for 2 children and give 5 families the chance to have full brother/sister relationship and identical genetic identity?
We would like to have at least 3 children in our family. Three is the new two. What about parents that want 3 children with the same genetic make-up?
Selfishly I don't want any of my potential '10' to go to waste.
Conversely - I do not want to be the person that does plays God with people's lives.
Lots of things to think about.
EDIT: It's 10 Familes (as per Billy's comment below) not 10 children :)
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3 comments:
Hi,
I`ve discovered your blog and began to read it from the beginning. I am reading it out of interest, since I myself am trying to conceive through a donor`s sperm. But I am a single woman, not marrried or in a Lesbian relationship (or any relationship for that matter) and I wonder how you feel about that. Would it bother you if your sperm goes to someone like me?
By the way, I don`t live in England, so I can only speak about what happens where I live, but here when they say 10 kids per donor, they mean that 10 diffeent families, i.e even if I have 2 or 3 kids from the same donor, the donor is considered to father just one kid. So if the same rule applies to the UK, then 10 kids per donor means you can certainly make 10 families happy!
P.S
I do hope you see this comment even though you wrote it a while ago..
Hi Billy,
Thank you for your comment :)
No, it would not bother me if my donation went to someone in your situation.
It is not my place to choose how people live their lives. Life is tough enough without additional barriers being put in place by others.
Have you found that other donors have restricted use of their sperm? Have you had difficulty finding a clinic that would accept a single person?
I have updated the post above to represent the fact that it is ten *families* not ten children. Thank you.
I wish you the best of luck with starting a family - I would love to know how you get on.
Best regards
Seed Monkey
Hi Seed Monkey.
I don't think the donor here has any say in the fate of his donation. It probably comes together with the fact that donations here are annonymous. Anyway no problem going here to a sperm bank and buying sperm.
Thanks for the interest! I have decided to write it down in a blog..
By the way, I didn't say it before, but it was great to see that there are people in the world like you and your wife!
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